This Christmas we went to see and stay with my niece and her husband who just had triple bypass surgery and is slowly recovering. It was a time of people coming in and out, opening gifts and holiday babble so steady it was hard to follow every conversation. There were little ones tearing open presents while their mothers sat down with them and examined each present with childlike glee, as if it was given to them instead of the child. There was no cat or dog left without a stocking filled with gifts. All of these scenarios were unfolding next to a glorious Christmas tree watching over the family scene, while logs burned in the fire place and the love was so real you could actually touch it. Then there was the food: roast beef, mashed potatoes and gravy, vegetables and salad, on Christmas eve. The Christmas ham was cooked for much of the day and was succulent and satisfying. Scalloped potatoes, salad and vegetables graced a beautifully decorated table with a small tree presiding over the corner of the dining room. Dessert, pumpkin pie, will not be mentioned! Of course it all went to my hips and thighs…sigh.
Somewhere in all this love and confusion came the moment when my niece was told she was the “world’s best grandmother;” and her husband, “the best grandfather” in the world, or at least their world. Since my family is somewhat distant and hostile, at least part of it is, this left me wondering just what I did right or maybe wrong. First of all, I never wanted to be the traditional grandmother. I wanted to define that role for myself, quite apart from what my mother and society thought it should be. I am not quite a boomer and was born pre-boomer by a few years, only. So, I have identified with them and they keep joining me (age wise) at an alarming rate. I think they too have tried to redefine grandparenthood, especially because of the changing family structures and blended families and court decisions.
I have not let my hair go gray and I keep exercising in order to remain active. I am hoping to start a career of teaching on line and I am in college to accomplish that dream. I do not dress like my mother did; nor do I think like she did, although she was a progressive thinker for her time. She flew in her seventies, dressed like women slightly younger than herself and was a pre-feminist thinker and worked until she was 69. My mother dyed her hair a respectable color until she was close to eighty and travelled by airplane or train, when she could, to meet with her grandchildren when it was too far to drive. Yes, she was a modern grandmother and redefined her role as a grandmother outside of the guidelines of her generation. She was in essence ahead of her time. As for me, I am not certain where I fit in all this.
It seems given all this history, I went wrong somewhere. Some of my grandchildren do not know me. My values clashed with the values of some of my children and sometimes society; but especially the conservative elements in the Catholic Church at that point in time. Like many grandparents today, my children punished me for all the perceived mistakes I made by keeping my grandchildren from me. There is nothing as painful as having grandchildren and not being able to have contact with them. Even worse is the punishment of having no grandparental rights. Thus some of my grandchildren may never know me and believe me to be a terrible mother and grandmother. Of course this hurts the most and it was suppose to, since it was my punishment for not conforming to their standards and ideas of what I “should be or have been.” I did not teach them this point of view.
Grandparents do not have rights and in fact unless you have a history of a relationship with your grandchildren, you are seldom allowed to override the parents’ wishes on the matter. Much of the family history dies with the grandparents and the unconditional love grandparents give are denied to many children in the United States. The courts do not recognize the rights of a grandparent; and this message is being given to thousands and thousands of younger people who must grow up never knowing them and hearing their side of the story. Sadly this position towards grandparental rights may have consequences far beyond what we understand today. This may be one of the undesirable effects of nuclear families, blended families and divorced parents and deceased parents due to war losses. The only real victims are the American children distanced from the unconditional love and care grandparents give them.
There was a fairly happy ending to my story. My ex-son-in-law gave me permission to speak with my granddaughter and grandson this year 2010. I found my granddaughter on line and even though her mother, my oldest daughter, did not want the contact she is not the custodial parent. My grandchildren’s father stated his parents rejected his children and would not see or meet with them. He wanted them to know their maternal grandmother. But most of all, my 17 year old granddaughter wanted me to get to know her and her brother, after 17 years apart. My Christmas message to all grandparents suffering the alienation of their grandchildren this Christmas is things change, so never give up! If a higher power exists, the immutable can be changed. The U.S. Supreme Court doesn’t have power over that power.
To my grandchildren who have been alienated from me, I send this message both about my love for your mother and my love for you. Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is child abuse as is grandparental alienation syndrome.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
Hey! Whats the Fuss?
What is this Holiday Season really all about? Some 2000 years ago three astrology practicing Kings or wise men believed a Great King was born. A star in the sky led them to him. They believed he was a mighty King of Kings and brought rare and expensive gifts to his Mother and Father for this newborn boy. King Herod learning of this birth was so upset he had all Jewish newborn males killed to put this competition to rest, once and for all time.
A small child born where they kept animals is still remembered by Christians today. Their greatest of earthly and Heavenly Kings born in a humble place where animals grazed and shepherds watched their flocks. There was no castle, no rich robes, no royalty present, only shepherds and animals staring in awe at a small baby boy born to a young Jewish woman and her carpenter husband. So, what is all the fuss?
Let us assume that the Christians are correct and He was the promised Messiah. What exactly did He do during his short life on earth? If we believe the writings about this, He taught the fine points of His religious beliefs to others. He cured the sick and raised the dead. He was kind and gentle toward the people He encountered in need. He helped His followers or anyone who came to Him when they needed to be feed or healed. He asked his followers to do good deeds and love their brothers and sisters. He told them, when asked, that in every person rested His Father’s Kingdom. He told them that whatever they did to the least of God’s people, they did to Him. His followers likened Him to the Gentle Shepherd, protecting His sheep from the wolves and other animals of the night.
To the Jewish leadership of his time, he was a man among many men claiming to be the Messiah. He was apparently not believed; eventually he was put to death. It does not appear that he killed anyone, nor did he seem to hurt others. But his words were so powerful; the enemies he faced felt it necessary to put him to death. How tragic if he really was and is the King of Kings. What does that tell us about us?
So we ask why this innocent child made such an impression on others. If He was the King of Kings, why did He not use his power to show others who He really was? He had created the heavens and earth and could have worked wonders beyond any mankind had seen before. He did none of these things. He left it up to each of us to believe or disbelieve just who He was and why He came to us in a quiet and humble way, only to be remembered throughout these 2000+ years.
The boy grown to a man taught, healed, forgave and led a life that He asked us to emulate. I don’t think He meant for us to live in our warm houses and attend services on His Birthday in richly furnished warm churches, while others live in the cold without a home. While traditions are wonderful and the concept of Santa Claus and all the trimmings of Christmas and parties and expensive gifts give us great pleasure and joy…what does He see if He is the King of Kings? How well have we learned the lessons He taught us when children go to bed hungry and without a roof over them for the night? No matter how much we give the need is still greater and some have so much more than others. Just how uncomfortable are we willing to be so another might come in from the cold and find shelter as His mother did so many years ago? Is a place to keep animals the best we can do? Are tents enough?
Each day I work at the EDVP, I hear women with children ask for housing only to be told, “…there is no room at the Inn.” How long will we as a people believers and non-believers turn our eyes away when these cries go unanswered? Our governor in Washington has washed her hands and lamented that we must cut services to the most vulnerable of our society. Christmas eve she will be tucked in her bed, like most of us, warm, safe and waiting for our families to celebrate with us on Christmas day. Yet the needy are our family members as well. If we knew that each of them may be the King of Kings or Heavens Child or God Himself; would we still treat them this way? Would we be the ones to say, “…there is no room…” What is this Holiday really all about?
It seems to me it is about a simple word…love, followed up with another rather elusive word…peace. Can we hope to find peace if we cannot seem to fully comprehend the word love? Looking into the face of a newborn, any newborn so dependent on us, we must conclude this child may have already told us what it is all about. It is possible God came to us, to be one of us, to teach us about mankind and what we need to do to reach the goals set out for us in His teachings. Did we listen?
Now for the fun!! The digital Story of the birth of this child.
A small child born where they kept animals is still remembered by Christians today. Their greatest of earthly and Heavenly Kings born in a humble place where animals grazed and shepherds watched their flocks. There was no castle, no rich robes, no royalty present, only shepherds and animals staring in awe at a small baby boy born to a young Jewish woman and her carpenter husband. So, what is all the fuss?
Let us assume that the Christians are correct and He was the promised Messiah. What exactly did He do during his short life on earth? If we believe the writings about this, He taught the fine points of His religious beliefs to others. He cured the sick and raised the dead. He was kind and gentle toward the people He encountered in need. He helped His followers or anyone who came to Him when they needed to be feed or healed. He asked his followers to do good deeds and love their brothers and sisters. He told them, when asked, that in every person rested His Father’s Kingdom. He told them that whatever they did to the least of God’s people, they did to Him. His followers likened Him to the Gentle Shepherd, protecting His sheep from the wolves and other animals of the night.
To the Jewish leadership of his time, he was a man among many men claiming to be the Messiah. He was apparently not believed; eventually he was put to death. It does not appear that he killed anyone, nor did he seem to hurt others. But his words were so powerful; the enemies he faced felt it necessary to put him to death. How tragic if he really was and is the King of Kings. What does that tell us about us?
So we ask why this innocent child made such an impression on others. If He was the King of Kings, why did He not use his power to show others who He really was? He had created the heavens and earth and could have worked wonders beyond any mankind had seen before. He did none of these things. He left it up to each of us to believe or disbelieve just who He was and why He came to us in a quiet and humble way, only to be remembered throughout these 2000+ years.
The boy grown to a man taught, healed, forgave and led a life that He asked us to emulate. I don’t think He meant for us to live in our warm houses and attend services on His Birthday in richly furnished warm churches, while others live in the cold without a home. While traditions are wonderful and the concept of Santa Claus and all the trimmings of Christmas and parties and expensive gifts give us great pleasure and joy…what does He see if He is the King of Kings? How well have we learned the lessons He taught us when children go to bed hungry and without a roof over them for the night? No matter how much we give the need is still greater and some have so much more than others. Just how uncomfortable are we willing to be so another might come in from the cold and find shelter as His mother did so many years ago? Is a place to keep animals the best we can do? Are tents enough?
Each day I work at the EDVP, I hear women with children ask for housing only to be told, “…there is no room at the Inn.” How long will we as a people believers and non-believers turn our eyes away when these cries go unanswered? Our governor in Washington has washed her hands and lamented that we must cut services to the most vulnerable of our society. Christmas eve she will be tucked in her bed, like most of us, warm, safe and waiting for our families to celebrate with us on Christmas day. Yet the needy are our family members as well. If we knew that each of them may be the King of Kings or Heavens Child or God Himself; would we still treat them this way? Would we be the ones to say, “…there is no room…” What is this Holiday really all about?
It seems to me it is about a simple word…love, followed up with another rather elusive word…peace. Can we hope to find peace if we cannot seem to fully comprehend the word love? Looking into the face of a newborn, any newborn so dependent on us, we must conclude this child may have already told us what it is all about. It is possible God came to us, to be one of us, to teach us about mankind and what we need to do to reach the goals set out for us in His teachings. Did we listen?
Now for the fun!! The digital Story of the birth of this child.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Last Minute Thoughts and Reflections
It is the end of the quarter and this is the last blog of the course, before moving on to the Winter Quarter for Essentials of eLearning challenge. Working with Ella, Rob and Yen on the project for the course was probably the best experience I had. Ella is a lively Millennial and digital learner and is a joy to listen to and work with. She added youth, life and insight into the minds of today’s young women and I loved it! Both Yen and Rob are community college instructors and they gave me insights into what they teach and how their students react to different programs and projects within their classrooms. Also, Rob’s knowledge of video and interviews was most interesting. He made it all seem easy. Yen’s presentation in Prezi was amazing. She turned to me in the last class and said, “…you know so much.” But the truth was, as I watched what she was developing for her class, I could just simply sit there and marvel at her knowledge and abilities. So, my comment to her is, oh ditto Yen, you know so much!
As for Bob, Amy and Samantha, I never had the opportunity to work with them on a project. I regret that! Amy presented a Voice Thread to die for. I still smile when I think of her topic on the history of toilets. Her genius is quirky and fun. Bob and I connected on his classes on world music. Since I have a band and love music, I enjoyed his presentations and discussions in the class. Samantha is my special delight. She has been a follower of Florence Nightingale, one of the women I have used as a role model. Her sense of humor and insights were special. Her respect for life and willingness to help others is, as the military would say, “…above and beyond the call of duty.”
Finally, our instructors Sam and Norma worked to bring us a rich and challenging course, which was appreciated. Since this certification is new, there will be a lot of changes as time goes by and I wish I was there for all of them. The instructor and professor duo brings to mind episodes of Wonder Woman and Steve Trevor. Okay, you say, Bellevue College is not “Paradise Island” home of the Amazon women; but with a little imagination one has to admit there is some truth in realizing an Amazon woman, in the comics and TV series as portrayed by Wonder Woman, brings hope, change and makes the United States a better place to live. Not to mention, Wonder Woman brought a strong female presence as a role model to young women of the 40s and beyond.
So Norma you can unlease your wonder woman and continue to bring us astonishing results during the program, as you have done so far. As for Steve, well maybe that was stretching it a bit...sorry Sam, no offense intended. But you have to admit Sam, you are a talented professor and it is my pleasure to call you Dr. Sam. You earned that title! As for Steve Trevor, eventually he was portrayed in some final issues as a four star general and/or Deputy Secretary of Defense. Interpretation, he became highly successful and Wonder Woman and Steve were never an item, just partners of sorts.
So, I close this chapter on my heroes ( male & female), fantasies and dreams for justice in America and American education. Yet, I do feel secure that I am getting a rock solid education from instructors like Sam and Norma, because they have allowed us creativity and independence of thought, while we engaged in eLearning. "The End" until the new season begins (tongue in cheek).
As for Bob, Amy and Samantha, I never had the opportunity to work with them on a project. I regret that! Amy presented a Voice Thread to die for. I still smile when I think of her topic on the history of toilets. Her genius is quirky and fun. Bob and I connected on his classes on world music. Since I have a band and love music, I enjoyed his presentations and discussions in the class. Samantha is my special delight. She has been a follower of Florence Nightingale, one of the women I have used as a role model. Her sense of humor and insights were special. Her respect for life and willingness to help others is, as the military would say, “…above and beyond the call of duty.”
Finally, our instructors Sam and Norma worked to bring us a rich and challenging course, which was appreciated. Since this certification is new, there will be a lot of changes as time goes by and I wish I was there for all of them. The instructor and professor duo brings to mind episodes of Wonder Woman and Steve Trevor. Okay, you say, Bellevue College is not “Paradise Island” home of the Amazon women; but with a little imagination one has to admit there is some truth in realizing an Amazon woman, in the comics and TV series as portrayed by Wonder Woman, brings hope, change and makes the United States a better place to live. Not to mention, Wonder Woman brought a strong female presence as a role model to young women of the 40s and beyond.
So Norma you can unlease your wonder woman and continue to bring us astonishing results during the program, as you have done so far. As for Steve, well maybe that was stretching it a bit...sorry Sam, no offense intended. But you have to admit Sam, you are a talented professor and it is my pleasure to call you Dr. Sam. You earned that title! As for Steve Trevor, eventually he was portrayed in some final issues as a four star general and/or Deputy Secretary of Defense. Interpretation, he became highly successful and Wonder Woman and Steve were never an item, just partners of sorts.
So, I close this chapter on my heroes ( male & female), fantasies and dreams for justice in America and American education. Yet, I do feel secure that I am getting a rock solid education from instructors like Sam and Norma, because they have allowed us creativity and independence of thought, while we engaged in eLearning. "The End" until the new season begins (tongue in cheek).
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Learning in the Introduction to eLearning Course and Next Steps
It was a long road to the end of this quarter. I am still struggling to complete the tasks and wrap up all the loose ends. We had our last course session on Tuesday. I had worked to place a power point presentation within Elluminate and create a Wiki, since I do not have access to a LMS application. Learning all of these technologies was easy until it came time to present it. Of course nothing worked like it should have and I have had to redo everything I did for the presentation. I am including the presentation for your viewing. There is no audio.
We are supposed to create an eportfolio using our blog. However, I found an eportfolio site on Google and used it because it had more space. Unfortunately it did not allow me to embed the sites or if it did I still have not figured out how to do it. I will present that site in my next blog. It is going to take some doing to get it done and completed in time for our deadline of December 8, 2010.
One of the technologies I hope to introduce students to use is the Glogster application. It is easy to use and for those students who hate to blog, it is a perfect way to display what they have learned and would like to present to the class on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. I am entering my Glogster presentation for you to view. It is on the topic of Aging in America. The You Tube video was done most probably by a student who used some rather interesting words to describe discrimination and may have fallen victim to the concept himself.
Well it is obvious I like pressure, pain and the Joys of eLearning because I have registered for the next course the” Essentials of eLearning.” The course explains that it is for instructors or students who want to learn how to teach on line exclusively or in a blended environment. We were introduced to the instructor Jennifer D on the section in this course devoted to Personal Learning and Networking Environments. She is a knowledgeable woman; and I cannot wait to see what challenges she will present in this course. I have purchased and received one of the two course texts and suddenly realized I had no idea what they are about. I am not certain if they are even written in English! Okay, I am a bit nervous blended with excitement and resignation.
The motivation for all of this eLearning is my desire to teach. I simply could not face teaching in a University when I left the University of Wisconsin-Madison. It seemed like the most boring thing to do on the face of the earth. My advisor at the University of Utah, to this day, feels like the emphasis on publishing is the most important requirement and the excellence of teaching means little or nothing to the University system. Quite the opposite is true in a college environment, where teaching is the main focus. So, I have packed my tools into my virtual briefcase and set out on this journey with hope and determination. As I am looking from side to side, I do not see many of my classmates in this course walking in the same direction…am I going down the wrong path? I don’t think so!
Our Group Presentation on Creative Commons and Licenses:
We are supposed to create an eportfolio using our blog. However, I found an eportfolio site on Google and used it because it had more space. Unfortunately it did not allow me to embed the sites or if it did I still have not figured out how to do it. I will present that site in my next blog. It is going to take some doing to get it done and completed in time for our deadline of December 8, 2010.
One of the technologies I hope to introduce students to use is the Glogster application. It is easy to use and for those students who hate to blog, it is a perfect way to display what they have learned and would like to present to the class on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. I am entering my Glogster presentation for you to view. It is on the topic of Aging in America. The You Tube video was done most probably by a student who used some rather interesting words to describe discrimination and may have fallen victim to the concept himself.
Well it is obvious I like pressure, pain and the Joys of eLearning because I have registered for the next course the” Essentials of eLearning.” The course explains that it is for instructors or students who want to learn how to teach on line exclusively or in a blended environment. We were introduced to the instructor Jennifer D on the section in this course devoted to Personal Learning and Networking Environments. She is a knowledgeable woman; and I cannot wait to see what challenges she will present in this course. I have purchased and received one of the two course texts and suddenly realized I had no idea what they are about. I am not certain if they are even written in English! Okay, I am a bit nervous blended with excitement and resignation.
The motivation for all of this eLearning is my desire to teach. I simply could not face teaching in a University when I left the University of Wisconsin-Madison. It seemed like the most boring thing to do on the face of the earth. My advisor at the University of Utah, to this day, feels like the emphasis on publishing is the most important requirement and the excellence of teaching means little or nothing to the University system. Quite the opposite is true in a college environment, where teaching is the main focus. So, I have packed my tools into my virtual briefcase and set out on this journey with hope and determination. As I am looking from side to side, I do not see many of my classmates in this course walking in the same direction…am I going down the wrong path? I don’t think so!
Our Group Presentation on Creative Commons and Licenses:
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